


Black Sheep

by Sister_Grimm



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Owen Mercer is a gift, for a want of a nail Axel is way better off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8138344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sister_Grimm/pseuds/Sister_Grimm
Summary: Axel is five when Joe West adopts him





	

**Author's Note:**

> Axel as a member of the bomb squad comes from PepperCats. Axel going to M.I.T was inspired by another fic I read.

Axel hasn't stopped crying since the police took him away. He is five years old and no one will tell him where his mom is.

"Axel, this is Detective Joe West, he'll be taking you home with him.", the social worker says.

***

He gets his first letter from James Jesse when he's thirteen. Barry runs away three times that month and Joe is busy trying to help him.

Axel aces every math test that year and Joe doesn't notice.

Jesse is a good listener though. Axel is important to him.

He comes out to Jesse when he's fourteen and he kisses his best friend as they work on a project for their chemistry class.

It doesn't go well. He tells Joe he tripped and bit through his lip to explain why he has a split lip and a bloody nose.

He's not sure if Joe believes him.

His friend never talks to him again. It hurts like losing his mom hurt.

He gets drunk for the first time when he's fifteen. It slows the world down. Barry helps him sneak back in and Axel claims a stomach flu to cover up his hangover.

He doesn't tell Iris and Barry until he's 16. After he kisses the first boy who kisses back. It lasts for four months. He tells a lot of jokes after they break up. Joe doesn't seem to notice.

Jesse is full of kind words. And jokes about cute prison guards.

Doesn't tell Joe until he's 18 and leaving for M.I.T. He's done unloading all his stuff and is about to start setting up his computer when Joe says he'll take him out for dinner before he leaves.

He drops the bomb over ribs, "By the way, I'm gay."

Joe stops mid chew. "What?", he mumbles through a mouth full of steak.

"Super gay.", Axel says casually.

Joe just blinks and then shrugs and says, "If you ever want to bring someone home, just let me know."

He writes to Jesse on and off. Jesse always writes back.

***

He graduates M.I.T at 20 and promptly applies for the Police Academy in Central City.

He doesn't tell Joe until he gets accepted.

Joe doesn't talk to him for three days. 

That hasn't happened since Joe caught him climbing in through his window three sheets to the wind age 16.

"Joe, I went to university. I'm an engineer. I want to be a cop. Singh said it himself, the bomb squad needs guys like me."

Joe just sighs.

"Axel, you could make more money as an engineer at LexCorp or Wayne Industries than you ever could as a cop."

"This is what I want.", Axel says fiercely. "You didn't put up this much of a fight when Barry joined the crime lab."

"It's different with Barry."

"It always is.", Axel snaps. Joe looks like Axel just slapped him.

"He's not in the line of danger, Axel. The bomb squad?"

"I'm good at this. You know that. Or at least you should."

***

Axel is 24 when everything changes.

He catches a late showing of Guardians of the Galaxy because it's start of his three days off tomorrow and ends up flirting with the hot redhead with the sexy accent who works the projector.

They exchange numbers and agree to meet for beer the next day.

***

Barry and Iris ask him if he wants to come watch the particle accelerator turn on.

He shakes his head, "Got a date."

Plus maybe Barry will tell Iris he's in love with her if Axel leaves them alone long enough.

Heh. Yeah right.

***

Harry's is a pretty classic if sketchy Irish pub. Round tables, tv screens playing sports channels, a pool table, dart board, VLTs.

Owen Mercer, the hot read head, is already sitting in a booth. And he nods when he sees Axel. 

"Axel right?"

"Got it in one, babe.", Axel says with a crooked grin.

They order some beers and watch the particle accelerator go live.

Like everyone else, they watch the particle accelerator fail. The shockwave shakes the building.

The lights come back on a few minutes before his phone rings.

"Axel, where are you?"

"Harry's. Uh, it's a pub. Downtown.", he clarifies quickly.

"You need to get to Central Memorial." Joe's voice is shaking and Axel is scared.

"Joe, what's going on?"

"It's Barry, Axel. He's been hit by lightning."

"Fuck." And he sits down. And misses the chair entirely, only Owen catches him before he hits the ground, somehow.

Owen's looking at him in concern.

"I don't have a car. I've been drinking.", he says, trying to catch his breath.

"I've got Iris. We'll come get you. Just stay there."

Axel nods and quickly realizes Joe can't see him, "Yeah, yeah."

He hangs up and looks at Owen, "My brother's in the hospital."

"Shit."

"Yeah.", Axel giggles nervously.

"Do you want me to...?"

"No, uh, stick around. Act of God is a good excuse for a lousy date."

"Scott Pilgrim.", Owen says smiling.

Axel laughs, "Yeah. Barry loves that movie."

He texts Owen a lot from the waiting room. They aren't the only family there. Every hospital in the city is busy. And he giggles every time his phone rings.

He writes his first letter to Jesse in nearly a year.

***

The next nine months are painful in a way Axel can't begin to explain. 

He's angry at Barry for being in a coma and angry at himself for being angry at Barry. He visits Iris at Jitters before work and promises to call more often. He rarely does.

He sees Joe at work and doesn't know how to talk to him.

He tries to explain it to Owen, a lot but it always dissolves into giggles. 

He and Owen make it exclusive after two months. After the fourth time in a month that Axel calls him in a panic after a nightmare.

He hasn't had nightmares like this since Jesse started writing to him. 

He spends the first few months working to help piece together the cause of the explosion. He commits the schematics of STAR Labs to memory. He dreams about the pieces of the accelerator, even at M.I.T he'd never seen something that advanced.

He isn't sure of a lot of things right now but he is sure that the particle accelerator wasn't sabotaged.

Owen comes with him to the hospital a lot. Which is how Axel meets Cisco Ramon.

Cisco seems like a nice guy, doesn't look like he's slept in months.

"You're a cop?", Cisco says in disbelief, eying Axel with suspicion.

It's a day off so he's got his eyeliner and his jewellery on and Cisco looks him up and down. "Yup, bomb squad. Rookie, but hey, I am a cop."

"You don't look like a cop."

"You think the earrings are bad, you should see my tattoos.", Axel says with a wink.

Cisco stutters a bit and Axel smiles at him.

"You can arrest me any time.", Cisco mutters and Axel laughs.

"They're not quite the fun kind of handcuffs."

Cisco turns bright red and Doctor Snow glares at both of them and Cisco's good mood instantly subsides. And Axel's eyes flicker back over to Barry on the bed. Feels the sudden urge to apologize.

***

Owen says I love you after four months. Axel is in one of his too good moods and they've gotten in a fight about Owen and his friend Kara because Axel is paranoid. Kara is pretty and blonde and bubbly and all these things he knows Owen likes.

"For fuck sake, Axel. I'm not into Kara, I'm in love with you.", Owen yells at him.

Axel flinches. It's the first time someone says I love you that he believes in a very long time.

***

It's not middle child syndrome, the police shrink says. He's bipolar. And he doesn't exactly know who his parents are so he can't talk to them about this.

He spends months being afraid he'll lose his job before he tells Joe about the diagnosis. 

***

He's at the precinct drinking bad coffee when he gets the call that Barry's awake. He damn near drop his phone in shock.

He's half expecting Joe to say "Tricked ya". Like Jesse used to say in his letters about stuff he'd do to the guards. 

He doesn't.

Owen picks him up from work and Axel really wishes Owen didn't drive a manual because he just wants to hold his freaking hand right now.

And Axel goes to his usual tattoo shop for a walk in. Gets them to ink that date above his ankle. Then Owen takes him home.

"Um, should I? Do you?"

"Come on, you loser.", Axel scoffs with a lightness he doesn't feel.

Owen nods and parks in from Axel's childhood home. "Hey, Ax."

Axel turns to look at his boyfriend who leans over and kisses him. "It's ok to be scared."

Axel glares, "When did you get so damn perceptive?"

Owen just laughs, "I've been dealing with your temperamental ass for the last nine months."

"Point taken."

And he grips Owen's hand so hard he's probably crushing it. Wonders if he's going to be forgotten again, like when they first brought Barry home.

And he knocks on the door.

Barry opens it and Axel's anxiety can wait thirty fucking minutes because he drops Owen's hand and hugs Barry like his life depends on it. "Don't you fucking scare us like that again.", he laughs.

Barry hugs him back.

Owen smiles, "We've never met but I feel like I know you."

Axel giggles awkwardly, "Right. Barry, my boyfriend Owen."

"Boyfriend, eh? Man, while I was in a coma you and Iris were busy getting busy."

Axel laughs but Barry can't hide from him, Axel perfected using jokes to hide his true feelings long before it occurred to Barry.

***

He finds out Barry is the Flash not that long after the military takes over one of his crime scenes.

Starling City makes a request to borrow their bomb squad to stop a man who uses bombs and boomerangs. Owen thinks this is hilarious.

"I grew up in Australia, my dad was apparently some master boomerang thrower so I learned too. I'll show you some time."

"Please explain to me how we've been dating for nearly a year and I didn't know this?"

"Americans think it's weird.", Owen says awkwardly.

"Well I think it is both awesome and hilarious.", Axel laughs.

One of the bombs goes off while he's working on it and he's suddenly forty feet away and not in a million tiny bloody pieces. And staring into a familiar face that can't hide behind red leather.

"Barry?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Seriously, bro. Literally everyone lies better than you do."

The Flash sags. "Don't tell Iris."

"She's gonna kill you when she finds out."

"Probably.", Barry pauses, "I have to go."

***

He's sort of working with Team Flash, God he loves that name, when Cisco tells them their next villain is Hartley Rathaway.

"Wait, the Hartley Rathaway? Seriously? There are legends about that guy at M.I.T."

"He's a total asshole. I'm not surprised he's a wannabe super villain."

He's pretty sure Hartley's trying to make Barry uncomfortable with the man in leather comment.

So Axel can't help it, it's his nature. "Now you're speaking my language. But you're more my type."

Barry shoots him this look like he can't decide if he should be insulted or relieved.

"Axel, what part of "total asshole" did you miss?", Cisco hisses.

"You didn't say he'd be this cute.", Axel positively purrs. And he fixes his eyes on Hartley again, "Your work on sound waves totally inspired my final project at M.I.T."

Hartley raises an eyebrow, "You went to M.I.T?"

He can only get time to visit STAR Labs when he's off so he's really not dressed like a cop. And Hartley looks him up and down.

"You of all people should know not all engineers are boring.", Axel chimes flirtatiously.

"I don't think I've met one that's your particular brand of...interesting."

Axel smirks, "Glad you like what you see."

"Wait.", Cisco blurts out, "Axel, you're gay?"

"You've met my boyfriend. How did you not know that?"

"I thought you were fucking with me?", Cisco flails about.

"That sounds like your typical level of reasoning.", Hartley cracks and then he turns to look at Axel, "It's such a shame the hot ones are always taken."

"Well if you weren't under arrest I'd say call me sometime."

Barry could not look less impressed with him. It's beautiful.

***

Then James Jesse escapes. 

He's part of the squad that helps the Flash take apart the second Trickster's parachute bombs. And Axel knows this compound, he'd studied everything there was to know about Jesse in high school. 

Maybe hacked into the CCPD to get more details.

Once.

Ok, more than once.

He watches the video of the second Trickster over and over again.

He's not sure why he keeps coming back to it.

Owen wakes up to the glow of his laptop screen, "Axel, babe. You need to sleep."

Axel grunts in acknowledgement.

"Babe.", Owen says quietly, touching his shoulder, "You're going to drive yourself crazy."

Axel remembers the way Jesse made him feel, like he mattered.

He wasn't Joe's biological child, like Iris. He wasn't perfect, like Barry. He'd always been the problem child. Serious case of middle child syndrome, the therapist he saw in high school had said. With Jesse there was no better kid to compare him too. Jesse always seemed like he was listening, like he cared about him.

He looks at the guy on the screen, the picture paused on his smile and he giggles a bit.

He's at work when a couple of homicide cops approach him. "Officer Walker? We need to talk to you."

He stops what he's working on and nods, "Uh, yeah. Yeah."

He's never really been in any of the interrogation rooms, that's not really his thing.

"So, James Jesse.", Detective Wilson says.

Shit. Of course.

"James Jesse. Serial killer with a toy fetish. Recently escaped from jail with the help of an accomplice.", he says with a giggle.

He can almost hear Joe reprimanding him about his problem with back talking.

Detective Wilson does not look impressed, "We've found correspondence between you and Jesse dating back over 10 years."

He can't help but smile. Jesse kept it.

Detective Wilson looks at him, waiting.

"Yes.", Axel acknowledges.

"Why does the kid of a cop communicate with a serial killer?"

"I was a lonely kid.", Axel shrugs.

They keep him there for hours and it's the most boring thing he's ever had to endure but eventually there's a knock on the door, "We have the name of the second Trickster."

Heh, that's Eddie's voice. And Axel stands up and shoots the cops his best "well you tried" smile.

The second Trickster is Billy Hong. He'd also been communicating with Jesse for a while.

It hurts more than Axel would like to admit.

Joe can't meet his eye when they pass at the precinct.

Axel gets drunk and gets Owen to fuck him through his mattress. They don't talk about it.

***

Barry approaches him a week later and sighs, "Ax, we uh, we need to talk."

Axel pauses, "Uh, sure?" And he follows Barry into his lab.

"Um, so Joe told me not to tell you this but after they arrested the Trickster, Joe was interrogating him and uh, well, Jesse claimed to be your dad. And well, Joe asked me to run a paternity test...."

Axel raises an eyebrow and Barry just slides the paper over.

"Barry, I do bombs not blood.", Axel grumbles.

"James Jesse is your father."

How the hell had Joe not fucking told him this.

***

Dinner that week is awkward, he and Joe barely speak to each other and Eddie and Owen keep sharing looks of awkward commiseration. 

Joe barely looks at him, asks Iris to pass the sausage when everyone can clearly see that Axel would be the logical person to ask.

Iris chatters about Central City Picture-News and how worried she is about Mason Briggs and tries to fill a silence rapidly becoming oppressive. So Axel begins to chat too, about a project he and Cisco are working on, a way to neutralize a meta from a distance. 

***

The nightmares start up again after Jesse is arrested. Only now it's not just his mom he loses. He loses his father. And his family. And he wakes up hyperventilating and crying and nearly knocks Owen off the bed several times.

"Axel", Owen says, "Axel." Owen's rubbing his back waiting for his breathing to even out and the tears to stop. "Babe, I need you talk to me."

Axel shakes his head.

Owen sighs, laying back on the bed. "When you're ready."

He wonders if Owen will still be around when he's ready for that.

***

It's a set up, Barry and Iris convince him to come over for a family talk and then the two of them promptly fuck off. 

"My fucking father? You knew that and you asked Barry to keep it a fucking secret?", Axel yells.

Joe flinches, "He's not your father. Just because a DNA test says he is, doesn't mean anything Axel."

"Even if he wasn't my father he still paid more attention to me than you ever did!", Axel has nearly fifteen years of resentment spilling out before he can stop it.

Joe looks like Axel's punched him.

"I'm not Iris and I could never dream of being Barry. I'm not fucking perfect so you shoved me to the side and forgot about me. I have spent my whole life trying to be good enough for you!"

"You are. You always have been.", Joe says finally.

Axel exhales violently, like the weight of a thousand years is lifted off of him.

"Jesse wanted to use you the way he used Billy Hong."

Axel doesn't have the heart to tell Joe how close he got.

"What about my mom, have you been hiding where she is this whole time?"

"I told you, when she got out of jail she went underground and we never found her."

***

It's Owen's idea to visit Jesse at the prison, he thinks Axel needs to talk to him to move on.

So Axel takes his beat up little Ford out to Iron Heights. Owen offers to drive him but Axel wants to do this alone.

He signs his name on the sign in sheet and hands over his cellphone and his wallet and his watch before they lead him down to Jesse's special cell. And he hands over the candy. Jesse's cell is full of drawings of the Flash. Creepy.

"Little Axel Walker, all grown up.", Jesse muses. "You look like your mother. You have her eyes."

"Why didn't you tell me.", Axel asks, quietly.

"I wanted to get the chance to tell your face.", Jesse says with a smile. "But the real question, Axel, is why are you here?"

"You're my father."

Jesse laughs and there is a twinkle in his eye, "Why are you really here, Axel?"

Axel sighs, "I don't know."

Jesse laughs again, "That may fool the detective but it won't fool me Axel. I know you."

"That's why I'm here.", Axel admits.

Jesse nods, "The detective doesn't pay attention to you. Your brother and sister are too busy pretending they aren't in love with each other to notice that you aren't ok. You've never been ok."

Axel nods.

They sit in silence for a few minutes and then Axel whispers, "Why not me?"

Jesse raises an eyebrow, "What did you say?", his voice is pleasant and teasing and Axel can't stop himself.

"Why not me?"

Jesse laughs, "That's what I thought you said."

Axel can't help but giggle, his voice cracking slightly.

"Billy was a...suitable replacement. But you wouldn't have gotten caught."

Axel giggles at the praise.

"It's so good to see you again, my boy.", Jesse says quietly.

***

He sees Jesse every week and he can feel Owen slipping away. 

He's late getting to a date with Owen because he gets involved in a conversation with Jesse.

"Axel...when I said you needed to talk to Jesse it was so you could get rid of his hold on you. Not so he could get his claws into you deeper.", Owen says quietly, like he's trying not to make a scene.

"He doesn't have his claws in me.", Axel snarls. And maybe he wants to cause a scene. And then Owen just sags. 

"I can't do this, Axel. Every time you go to see him, I can feel myself losing you. And I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."

"Me too.", Axel says finally.

***

The boomerang comes out of fucking nowhere and cracks Eobard Thawne in the back of the head. Axel's head whips in the direction the boomerang careens in and Owen catches it.

"Owen...", Axel breathes, confused and terrified. Barry can barely handle this guy, why is Owen here.

Eobard cocks his head to the side, "Owen Harkness. Always thought it would be your little brother who'd come looking for me. A good Allen kid, not the black sheep."

"I didn't come looking for you. When you changed the past, you did something to the Speed Force. You took me with you."

Unfortunately, Eobard is prepared for the next one. He breaks the boomerang in his hands and then calls out in pain when it explodes.

But they're still losing. Until a gunshot rings out and Iris screams. Heartwrenching, painful and ungodly familiar, he's heard Iris scream like this every time they pulled her away when Barry's heart stopped. 

And then he's moving, turning away from Owen, running to Eddie while Barry and Owen stare in horror and Eobard flickers in and out of existence. 

And just for a split second, he thinks they've won. A Pyrrhic victory if he's ever seen one but still. They've won.

He's wrong. 

And as the Singularity opens above them, he finds himself staring at Owen and then he lunges forward, drags Owen down and kisses him. His face is wet with tears and the world might be ending but he needs this. 

Owen pulls back and for a moment they just stand there. 

"We need to talk.", Axel says finally.

Owen nods, "And we will. I promise."

"Yeah. After we make sure the world doesn't end."

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me at notsolittlegirlevenmorelost.tumblr.com


End file.
